Now, my parents love me. I know they do. The absolute, unconditional, to-the-moon-and-back kind of love that you only get from parents and dogs. And I love them too, I really do. But, understandably, I don't want to live with them forever, and I'm sure they don't want to live with me forever either. But finding a well-paid job and moving out doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon, and I don't really know what I feel about that.

On the one hand, living at home means I have minimal costs, just petrol to and from work and often my dad will get that for me. So in terms of saving, it's a great situation, although I'm earning so little money working at a pub and at a kennels that I'm not really saving much overall anyway (and what am I saving for anyway? To be able to buy a house any time soon? Not likely!). On the other hand I feel a bit embarassed to be still living at home as a 23-year old, I feel indequate compared to friends who are out there being real adults with jobs and bills to pay, and I feel guilty that I'm still lumping my parents with me after 23 years!

I know they just want the best for me, and if that means living at home until I find something to do tht really makes me happy they are more than willing to have me. And I'm sure if I asked them they'd laugh at me for suggesting I'm a burden. In fact Mum's probably going to be quite upset that I've even written this! But I can't help but feel that if I was in their place I'd be dying to have 'the kids' out of the house. After all, when raising children your life almost becomes the children, which for most parents isn't even a sacrifice at all, mine included. But I do know that the idea of becoming themselves again; travelling; being able to do what they want to do, is definitely on my parents to-do list for the near future. Having a 23-year old around the house probably isn't conducive to that.

At the moment they're both still working- I think me living at home would be very different if they were both around all day as well (I love them, but I would probably be going crazy). Also at the moment I'm still pretty useful; I write this as the boiler people are servicing the boiler- Dad would have had to take a day off work to be able to let them in. I look after the dog while they're away for the weekend (although as Howard says, she's my dog anyway so he doesn't see why they should have to look after her at all, thank you very much). I've planned our family holiday for September. I do do a bit of cooking, and my most recent culinary enterprise is to use up ingredients that we've had in our freezer for far too long- frozen mango-salmon puff pastry pies, anyone?

One thing that has actually been useful has been to organise all our hosuehold paperwork and to figure out what we're paying too much for. I've switched our phone and broadband provider, searched comparison websites for our electricity, and made my dad cancel 3 mobile phone policies that we've been paying for but not using for over a year. I've pretty much become my mum's household PA- can I put that on my CV? At least doing useful things lessens my guilt that I'm cramping my parents' style.

I think my parents have accepted that I'm not going to move out for a while- at the weekend Howard read, and pulled out, an article in the paper about the new trend of boomerang children living in huts at the bottom of their parents' garden. They were actually really nice little shepherd hut things and probably my only chance to 'move out' any time soon. I could get a cat. And thinking long-term, it could also be used when my parents set up their B&B (although that would require me actually moving out first...).

I probably just worry too much and think that I should have a plan by now, but I think it's OK that I don't. It doesn't help that my brother, James, has walked out of uni into a graduate scheme at Deloitte and is probably going to be promoted and buy himself his first house within the next year. Bloody overachiever. But really, I need to stop comparing myself everyone else and overthinking everything. It's not like accountancy is James' dream job and in fact I should be (and am) incredibly grateful to my parents and the universe that I have the support and the love and the time to be able to figure out my dream and follow it.

Essentially this is a blog about how my parents are saints. Maybe I should never leave...